Rexona's Unparalleled Russian Exploits Reduces Martina Negra's Russian Resume into Ashes

Rexona Gomorra has taken a Russian lover in her effort to keep up with the Joneses or the Negras to be more precise.

“Russian is trending!” the petite lady exclaimed while we got in the jam packed elevated train at Phrakanong station, the gateway to the infamous Pridi Banomyong , office gals’ haven in the city of Fallen Angels. Her cryptic and personally indulging comment was the least thing I needed to hear that hazy Monday morning but I gave in as I sensed true excitement in her voice and gestures.

“I was at soi 4 last night as my German friend told me that he would go there.” She said which made me frown as I didn’t see the connection between a German and a Russian except for the fact that both meats are the gal’s current favorite main dishes.

“Where is the Russian in the story?” I retorted right away to discourage her from her irrelevant epiphanies. A fellow passenger in a red suit who seemed to detect an interesting subject coming motioned her head conspicuously towards us giving her really big ears an advantage to Rexona’s 2-decibel voice. That sight triggered the bitchiness in me so I moved without delay, blocked the would-be eavesdropper’s view and cut her excitement right there and then.

“Just holding the hand rail” I smiled at her when she glared at me. I gave Rexona the green light to proceed and off she went to narrate her ongoing Russian- themed romantic exploits.

“Before I headed to Soi 4 last night, I was in fact at the house of a Russian admirer to check things out (Only God knows what Rexona checked but I know she was just being decent not to blatantly mentioned the word C or D)”

“And she did not disappoint!” she quickly continued.

“Was this the same Russian boy you were seeing over the last weekends” I probed further as the gal had been happily & proudly telling everyone her new conquests. One of note was the 21 year old Russian who’s currently engaged with a local but managed to rendezvous with Rexona every now & then. This to the gal is a true test of her undeniable pulchritude which her best friend Martina Negra continuously belittles.

“No, a new one!” she said grinning while untying her tightly tied tie to reveal some kiss marks below her neck down to her prominent clavicles. I felt the gal in the red suit at my back moved to have a glimpse of Rexona's proofs of lewdness but I was quick to block her to her chagrin.

“I am being swarmed with Russians these days. I don't understand at all. Is it because it’s the peak season? And I don’t even have a porcelain skin like that of Martina nor a strong stomach for liters of Vodka!” the gal pretended to ask innocently.

Right there and then, I already knew where our conversation was heading to and I was just glad to hear the gal in the red suit commanding the attention of everyone through her announcement in a loud voice.

“Tan poroi san samaat pleeian seentang pai root pai fa mahanakon dai…tii satanee ni kha” her familiar voice reverberated inside the train.

And she wasn’t yet done.

“Next station Asok. Interchange with the MRT!” she continued.

“See you Tuesday!” I told Rexona and bade good bye.

Without our knowing, Miss Negra who's at Nana Station at the time was in fact composing an SMS to report a gal whom she claims to be lacking of originality and who finds satisfaction in outdoing her achievements especially in the field of manhunting. As I worked the narrow footbridge leading to my office, my phone beeped and voila it's Martina Negra on the loose with her usual tantrums.

"All I can say is GAYA GAYA sya! She has no future" went the last lines of her SMS.