The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Czarina*:Martina Negra's Ascension to the Throne!



La Negra at 24, a portrait by her former beau, Darria Sodomma!



When Martina Negra decided to leave La Vova one evening, after the latter dumped the food she worked hard to prepare, her fellow office gals whom she first informed the bad news thought that the gal was just going through yet another phase of her seemingly endless initiation towards martyrdom - the ultimate requirement for one’s anointment to the czarina status. Though this time, the lady seemed more serious in her attempt to escape her destiny if only through her fierce outfit which shocked Lady V and Rexona Gomorra upon seeing her at La Gomorra’s mansion on Pridi 14.

A modern Czarina, the ultimate end of Martina's struggles

Clad in baby blue skimpy shorts which she paired with a see-thru shirt and knee-high, red military boots, the gal could be pictured working the stretch of Narathiwat highway with her two hurriedly packed suitcases in her desperate effort to flee the house after the Russian broke the final straw. But, as there are no taxis when you badly need one, the gal had to walk all the way to Rama 4 to secure a ride. Talk about life's many ironies! A delivery truck would stop at her once and a while and the bearded driver would look lasciviously at the already sweaty gal. Martina Negra, in turn, would swear from the top of her lungs complete with the obscene hand gesture. The truck sped away while the gal followed its billowing smoke. She took a break from the worn out tires piled by the road and started to reflect on her 15th sudden decision to leave. Tears started to fall from her eyes but she had to hold on. It was not the right time to expose her vulnerability with the dark and dangerous road ahead of her. She immediately thought of her always supportive best friend, Rexona Gomorra, whose unique beauty she always belittled. She also thought of La Dehada, the mother of Perpetual Help but the thought of her already crowded room immediately disqualified her from the list of possible temporary shelter providers she could go to. Finally a vacant taxi arrived and took Martina Negra's worries away.

As the taxi trudged the intricacies of Rama IV and Sukhumvit on its way to the Phrakanong area, Martina Negra, meanwhile, was trudging La Gomorra’s vertical soft spot line via a melodramatic phone call. In her rather sobbing tone, the gal narrated the whole story and asked her best friend to share a roof for the night. Boy, this melted Rexona Gomorra’s heart away that she immediately said yes although she knew that having La Negra around would mean sudden soaring of her electric and utility bills and most of all her priceless privacy be compromised. But, her kindness and compassion prevailed above all especially when Martina Negra who looked rather dark and greasy arrived and knocked at the gal's immaculately polished door.



Friends forever...La Negra and La Gomorra



Martina Negra voluntarily narrated her story further after she refused the plate of food she was offered. She apparently lost her appetite. She was trying to explain herself, her not-so-good situation. She obviously needed moral support which we readily offered. And then an SMS arrived which suddenly changed her mood. She excused herself, took a shower and without further ado, took a bottle of Breezer and off she went. The Russian wanted to speak with her at a gay bar in Ratchada according to her explanation. But, she proudly said she refused not the invitation but the idea of meeting in a bar. So they agreed to meet at home. Could you believe that?

Rexona Gomorra, Lady B, myself and the seemingly confused Minorka who wasn’t oriented yet on Martina’s love life swigged the remaining wines from our glasses and wished La Negra good luck and peace of mind.

The gal returned the next day to La Gomorra’s abode and has since then dividing her time between Narathiwat and Pridi. Last week, the Russian was spotted at KHouse at Pridi paying the deposit for Room 602 after Martina succeeded in convincing him. This ironic development of events begs the question:

Is La Negra finally reaching the Czarina status? Are her efforts all these years worth after all?

The gal and her man, sober times

*allusion to Milan Kundera's novel